Halloween was on a Sunday this year and we went trick-or-treating on Saturday. The week got away from us and I honestly didn't think we were going to get to carving pumpkins this year but we did. As always, the kids loved doing it and Russ enjoyed digging out the seeds to season and bake!
We had a great Halloween night this year! We went trick-or-treating with the Naylor's and the Malmberg's and Allen's joined in on the fun with us. The night was just the teeniest bit chilly and the kids had a blast. Brooks refused to wear his costume (no surprise there) and also refused to go knock on doors without Russ, Stockton did great in the stroller, we got a lot of candy, and we got to go all together as a family while my dad stayed at our house to pass out candy.
The Ahlberg Halloween party was tonight. Despite having 20+ cousins to play with Hallie claimed she was bored. This is a daily complaint of hers. I'm not sure this girl even knows what it means to be bored. Brooks refused to wear his costume but since he looks so much like his daddy Aunt Amy said he dressed up as Russ this year. Hallie preformed her "Twas the Night Before Halloween" rendition. She replaced most of the words with Halloween themed words such as "Jack Skeleton," "bats," "graveyard," and other words. Everyone laughed when the line, "And I freaked when I saw him and peed myself" was said instead of "And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself." Although there were some tears and boredom complaints I sure love making memories with my family!
Unfortunately it was too cold outside to bring the baby and attend Hallie's Halloween parade. So, Russ and Brooks went on behalf of us all. I love Hallie's confidence and I love how she loves things like this. She was so happy to spot Russ in the crowd!
My boss gave us tickets again to another Jazz game. It's not overly easy for me to get away with Stockton and so Russ and Hallie went again. They have really enjoyed going to the past few Jazz games.
Brooks really is a sweet boy. Besides him and Hallie fighting like cats and dogs he really is so sweet. He is very protective of Hallie. He does not like when she gets put in time out or sent to her room, even if it is because she was rude to him. If Russ is holding Hallie down while playing with her Brooks frantically tries to save her. He freely gives out "I love yous," even at the doctors office to his doctor. Haha! I love when I am putting the baby to bed and he is trying to be quiet and tries to sign I love you by pointing to his eye and then points at me. He also randomly comes in baby's room while I am rocking him to sleep and kisses me on my leg and baby on his arm. The other day Hallie asked him what he likes and he responded by saying, "Cars, trucks, trailers, trailer hitches..." It was pretty funny. I love how he says "Ha-yee" for Hallie. He is always down for a good snuggle and still naps for about 1-2 hours every day. He refuses to go poop in the toilet and continues to be obsessed with cars. He wakes up earlier then he should and often times we have to lock his door at night so he doesn't come out too earlier (our threshold is 730 AM).
The Nickle Halloween party is always a favorite of the kids. My mom puts in a lot of time and effort to make it fun for the grandkids.
Hallie chose to be a princess mermaid. Brooks chose to be Iron Man but refused to wear his costume. He did this last year too. I should stop buying him costumes. Stockton was the cutest little Captain America with a beanie that was too small for his dome. Ha!
It is hard for me to express in words just how much I love my kids! They are my world, my purpose and my happiness. The other day I read a poem that I feel captures how motherhood feels to me: "I've been the happiest since I've had children. I've also been at my lowest. I'm a much better version of myself. I also haven't always liked what I've seen when mirrors have been held up to me. I've never been in more company. And at times never felt so lonely. Some days I don't want to end. Some days I wish away, oh and the guilt from feeling that when they grow so fast. I've never been so sure of who I am meant to be. I've never wondered so much who I am. I've never felt closer with my husband. But at times, I've never felt more distant. I believe in myself, I trust myself, I've questioned myself and doubted myself. I always want to be better for them. But I've yelled and cried and wished I'd handled certain situations better. I've never loved so hard and so fiercely. And I've never felt so vulnerable. I've never been more broken. And I've never been more complete. I've never smiled so much. I've never cried so much. I've never craved alone time more. But when I am I always feel like somethings missing, like an arm. I've never been so excited to watch them grow. And simultaneously wished they'd stay little forever. Some days I feel like I've achieved nothing. But as I think of them at night, I know I've achieved everything. I've never looked forward to so much, and I've also never looked back. It's one beautiful contradiction. A journey of wrong turns that are probably still right. And dreams of the future even if you don't get enough sleep to dream. Exhaustion but effortless love. The hardest and most rewarding thing ever. Motherhood."
Being a mom is a roller coaster of things. Very few days do I feel like I'm doing a great job and most the time I think I am failing. But my life is exactly as I always dreamed it would be. I have a husband who loves me and the kids, and we love him back, and I am at home taking care of my babies and am able to be there for every minute of their lives. I know I am incredibly blessed to be living my dreams. I love my 3 munchkins with everything that I have!
